When men have few close friends: what it means for their partners

Many men have fewer close friendships than women and often talk about their feelings only with their partner. Researchers call the extra relationship work women take on as a result “mankeeping”: listening, keeping in touch with people, helping to organise their partner's social life.

A research team has now developed a questionnaire for this for the first time and tested it with almost 800 women in relationships in the USA and the UK. Women who did a lot of this work and experienced it as one-sided or little appreciated reported, on average, more stress, low mood and anxiety and were less satisfied with their relationship. A partner's small circle of friends on its own, by contrast, was hardly linked to their distress.

The results show associations, not causes. But they invite a closer look: anyone who feels exhausted can ask themselves how much emotional responsibility they carry for another person. And for men, their own trusted friendships can be an important source of support, for the relationship too.